Former VP, Atiku Abubakar fiddles with phone in a private jet...

The former Vice President is heading to the UK where he is scheduled to speak at the London School of Economics and Political Science(LSE) Africa Summit to take place on April 22 and 23. The LSE is an annual gathering that showcases Africa's contributions to the world and fosters debates on the challenges facing the continent. "I'll be speaking on philanthropy & capacity building at #LSEAfricaSummit. Please send me any questions you may have" he said.

Lol. Kim and Kanye West branded ignorant in Iceland

Kim and Kanye have been branded ignorant in Iceland by locals after the couple, who traveled to the country for Kourtney's 37th birthday, kept accusing each other of passing gas. What they failed to realize is that they are on a volcanic island and what they're actually smelling is sulfurous fumes... From The Mirror Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have documented every moment of their Iceland adventure over the last week - and there's been one common theme. A mystery smell has followed them everywhere, and it even led to one poor driver being accused of farting as he drove them around. Locals have since explained the smell is actually down to the sulphurous fumes from Iceland's volcanic springs. One local explained: "They would have seen that in the guidebooks if they'd read them. Most people would know that Iceland is volcanic."

DJ Quik says Kanye West needs to remove his head from Kim's vagina & make better music

DJ Quik dissed Kanye West in a new radio interview this week. When asked about what he thinks of Kanye's new album, Life Of Pablo, the outspoken DJ said it's not a great album, called Kanye a Kardashian and told him it's time to remove his head from Kim's vagina and make great music again "His celebrity supersedes his talent right now. C'mon, he's a Kardashian. This ain't a diss, this is a challenge. Make your best music because fans aren't stupid. Maybe his head is not all the way in the music right now. May his head is all up in Kim Kardashian's vagina. Vadashian!"

Gov. Ambode compensates two honest police officers with N250k each

Lagos State Governor, Akinwunmi Ambode has compensated two honest police officers with N250, 000 cash each and commendation letters for the recovery of N5 million which fell-off a bullion van around Alausa, Ikeja. According to the Lagos State taskforce public affairs officer, the two policemen - Inspector Abiona Hezekiah & Sergeant Ogunbiyi Agbabu who were attached to the Lagos State Environmental Sanitation and Special Offences Unit and were out on duty, recovered N5m that fell-off a bullion van around Alausa, Ikeja. After the discovery, they honestly kept the money and after due investigation, it was found to belong to Skye Bank Plc. The Commissioner of Police, Mr Fatai Owoseni, represented the governor and made the presentation of the commendation letters and cash. They were praised for their high sense of patriotism, honesty and integrity in the line of duty. The officers thanked the governor and promised to remain steadfast in the discharge of their duties.

70 year old woman beats husband with hammer for watching porn

A 70 year old woman and grandmother of three, Lynda Holmes attacked and beat her 78 year old husband Gordon Holmes - with a 'meat hammer' after she caught him watching porn at their home. Why? Because they have had no sexual relation for ten years. Mr Holmes who was left with severe head injuries, escaped her brutal onslaught and ran into the street telling neighbours his wife had gone mad. After her arrest, His wife later told officers that he shouldn't have dared to watch porn. According to her, "He hasn’t touched me for over 10 years and now he’s watching porn. How dare he? How do I go about getting 10 years of my life back?" Recounting the experience, Her Husband, Gordon admitted to be partially responsible for bringing on the attack because of his ‘selfishness’. He played in a band, played golf & spent time away from home without supporting his wife, he said. Lynda who pleaded guilty to inflicting grievous bodily harm, was given a 10-month prison sentence.

Nigerian Army dissociates itself from solidality ralies, says it is 'distractive'

The Nigerian Army has warned groups and individuals who are celebrating the decimation and routing of Boko Haram terrorists from the country to exercise caution as this premature jubilation could be distractive to them. Below is the statement issued today by the Acting Director of Public Relations, Colonel Sani Usman: "DISCLAIMER ON SOLIDARITY RALLIES The attention of the Nigerian Army has been drawn to a number of groups and individuals celebrating the routing out and decimation of Boko Haram terrorists on our soil. So much as we thank them for that, it is imperative to state that we do not begrudge such persons their desire to identify and associate themselves with this success. However, the Nigerian Army wishes to disassociate itself from such celebrations and solidarity rallies. We also would like to advice that they should tread with caution as this could be distractive to us. The public are please informed that the terrorists are surreptitiously fanning out of their last enclaves in Sambisa to cause havoc or seek refuge elsewhere. Therefore, there is need for all to be more vigilant and security conscious to enable us clear the remnants of these terrorists wherever they might flee. We would like to reassure the public that we will remain professional and focused in clearing the remnants of these criminals on the Nigerian soil. Thank you for your usual and kind cooperation. Colonel Sani Kukasheka Usman Acting Director Army Public Relations

What would you do in this situation?

Scary, huh? What would you do?