MUB exclusive: Do we miss Jonathan?

This is the question that is beginning to seep into the cowardly minds of Nigerians. Have we begun to miss the Jonathan era? Were things this bad, did we have to go through life in a stupor with electricity, fuel crises and the Naira all in such a parlous state? Is it wise to miss that era with all its debauchery, insensitive mess and shoeless confusion. As I lay in my couch in the darkness, with my iPad sputtering to an end due to the lack of power to recharge its power and a phone whose power is slowly but surely draining bringing it closer to extinction and the heat forcing me to sleep naked while looking at my voter’s card and shaking my head in regret. This has been our lot for some time now as Nigerians. We have been thrown back into the dark days of pre-colonial times. This revolution that brought change has brought the kind of change that belong to cavemen. Today nothing is available and we are all united in suffering.

The blame game is laughable, the fault is every other person and since we did not vote for magicians we must continue with this level of suffering. A level that has made the 40 year sojourn of Israelites in the wilderness pale into child’s play.

I’m sorry guys, I cannot write as much because as I struggle to gather my thoughts, mosquitoes are flying over my exposed body in an attempt to dismember me with tiny pricks of their poisonous arrows, the heat burns through my withered skin and turning me into a melting zombie even as I watch my kids suffer due to no fault of theirs, but the fact that they do not choose to be born at this time and from this country.

I rest my case even as I dose off into a slow oblivion of mindless orgy of suffering.